TENDJEWBERRYMUD

Tendjewberrymud (READ THIS OUT LOUD)

Reminds me of a taxi ride I had in New York, where the driver from a Latin American country talked to me non-stop during the 20-minute ride and I managed to piece together perhaps half a dozen words, despite being a linguist, worldwide traveler and used to a multitude of accents.

You must read this aloud (for the full effect). Just say any unfamiliar words phonetically. It's amazing, you will understand what 'tendjewberrymud' means by the end of the conversation.

This has been nominated for best email of 1999. The following is a telephone conversation between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia. The call was recorded and later published in the Far East Economic Review.

Here goes. . . .

Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service"

RS: "Rye . . . Ruin sorbees . . . morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"

G: "Uh . . . yes . . . I'd like some bacon and eggs"

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?. . . pry, boy, pooch?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem . . . crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"

G: "What?"

RS: "San tos. July San tos?"

G: "I don't think so"

RS: "No? Judo one toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes'means."

RS: "Toes! Toes! . . . why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow inglish mopping webother?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes,an English muffin will be fine.

RS: "We bother?"

G: "No . . . just put the bother on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter . . . just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Sorry?"

RS: "Copy . . . tea . . . mill?"

G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy . . . rye??"

G: "Whatever you say"

RS: "Tendjewberrymud"

G: "You're welcome"