LIFE IN DUBAI

For various reasons - one of which was the "black cloud" emanating from the several hundred thousand giving out a last burst of despair as they died (keep track and you will find this number close to reality) and are still dying, polluting the spiritual atmosphere of the planet with all the severe natural disasters and inhumane, heartless handling of it in a country like Burma (I dont care they prefer to be called Myanmar) I also felt the need to lighten the mood.

Though I am not sure how to lighten up the misery created by the destruction in China of anywhere from a mind boggling TWO MILLION buildings to an even possibly more accurate estimate of FOUR million structures. Can you even picture that many buildings?

By the way, I had a medical check up today and discussed my "black cloud pollution sentiments" with my physician. Instead of the polite sloughing off rebuttal I expected, he confirmed that he now has patients on a daily basis who come to him for medical treatment and suddenly burst into tears. Overwhelmed by the enormity of their immediate life and what they see and hear going on around the world.

The following extract taken from an American who moved to Dubai earlier this year indirectly illustrates how we are managing to deal less and less with the world at large

...April 30th:

Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai, UAE! WOW!!! Nowthis is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmyevenings. It's like New York City minus all the crocks, murderers, anddrunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on my beautifulbedroom verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

May 13th: Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is fully air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'mturning into a sun worshiper.

May 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our lovelypool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. Heat is no problemat all.

June 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 95 all week even during the night. How dopeople get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windythough. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body. Missed 5 days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I learned mylesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th: Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By the timeI got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and swollen up tothe size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60,000 Audi. I told the kidstha she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learnedmy lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant fucking hair dryer in here!!! And it'shot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The fucking AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was broken in fucking Hindu English or some language that I couldn't understand.

July 30th: Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now because it is 7000 fucking degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here? Fuck the sun. Fuck the wind. Fuck the freakin' ocean. And fucking locals walk around dressed in white tablecloths followed by little black female ninjas. Fuckingcrazy town.

August 4th: It's 114 fucking degrees today. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed. It cost 2,000 fucking Dirhams and got the temperature down to 25, but the fucking humidity makes the house feel 30 fucking Dubai degrees. Stupid terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid fucking place.

August 8th: If another local wiseass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to fucking whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert.

Fucking Dubai; by the time I get to work with all that fucking traffic and heat, the car's radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a baked cat!!!

August 9th: Tried to run some errands today because it is fucking Friday. Wore shorts and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so fucking hot I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my fucking ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and a baked cat.

August 10th:The weather report might as well be a fucking recording. Hot, humid and fucking sunny. Hot, humid and fucking sunny. Hot, humid and fucking sunny.

It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman dude wearing the fucking white tablecloth on TV says it might really warm up next week. Does it ever rain in this damn fucking place? What is next, a fucking hell freezing over wave?

August 14th: WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the air-conditioner'sgone in my fucking Audi. The fucking Audi serviceman said, 'Hot enough for you today?' Fuck him and fuck Audi. My wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting that stupid fucking Paki bastard wiseass. Fuck Dubai! What kind of a sick demented fucking idiot would want to live in this shit hole?

August 15th: (Independence Day ?) Fuck this place. I'm off back to New York

Alan note: I remember getting off an aircraft, down passenger stairs to a waiting transport in the United Arab Emirates once. As I exited the aircraft it felt as if I had been slammed in the face by a red hot frying pan and then punched in the chest (and lungs) by a flame thrower.

You learn how to breathe (or not breathe) very quickly. And deal with sweat rivers inside a Saudi taxi in Jeddah whose air conditioner suddenly decides to die (and tries to take you with it!)